Down the Drain - Julia Fox

This commitment to authenticity has never been more on display than in Down the Drain . With writing that is both eloquent and accessible, Fox recounts her turbulent path to cultural her parents’ volatile relationship that divided her childhood between Italy and New York City and left her largely raising herself; a possessive and abusive drug-dealing boyfriend whose torment continued even from within Rikers Island; her own trips to jail as well as to a psychiatric hospital; her work as a dominatrix that led to a complicated entanglement with a sugar daddy; a heroin habit that led to New Orleans trap houses and that she would kick only after the fatal overdose of her best friend; her own near-lethal overdoses and the deaths of still more friends from drugs and suicide; an emotionally explosive, tabloid-dominating romance with a figure she dubs “The Artist”; a whirlwind, short-lived marriage and her trials as a single parent striving to support her young son. Yet as extraordinary as her story is, its universality is what makes it so powerful. Fox doesn’t just capture her improbable evolution from grade-school outcast to fashion-world icon, she captures her transition from girlhood to womanhood to motherhood. Family and friendship, sex and death, violence and love, money and power, innocence and experience—it’s all here, in raw, remarkable and riveting detail. (link)

Review: 5/5

This book was absolutely wild and unpredictable from start to finish. I was recommended this book by Samantha, and shout out to her for forever traumatizing me with this pick! Ever since I was a kid, I knew my number one goal and purpose in life was to have children; to care for, and nurture them, but after reading this book, I’m second-guessing having my own kids. That’s how traumatic it was. Trigger warning not only for this review, but for this book if you decide to read it, because it’s not like I received one (not blaming you, Samantha)!

I read this book so long ago that I can’t remember absolutely everything that happened, but I mean, let me validate myself because there is SO much that happened. But I will hit all the main points that stood out to me from reminiscing now.

The first thing I wanna talk about is how raw and interesting Julia Fox’s delivery was in this memoir. I felt that as intellectually as she was reflecting, there was also a relatability and honesty to her writing that I haven’t felt like this in a memoir yet. That being said, the other memoirs I have read have been extremely different in topic, so it’s like comparing Apple to oranges.

I didn’t know that Julia was an American immigrant, and I also had no idea of any aspect of her life, so jumping full throttle into her abusive relationship with her parents was a gut turner for me. From comparing the memoirs I’ve read so far (a whopping three) I find it really interesting how such a prominent cross-fixture is abusive parenting. And in realizing that, my unconscious comparison of the writer’s reflections on being abused. In all these different memoirs that I read, the writers don’t like to allude to, reminisce, or even disclose the fact that their parents are abusive, even when what they are narrating is textbook physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

I reveled in Julia’s tenacity of knowing who she was from the beginning, knowing that she was bound to be a star, and also knowing that she was tougher than anything that would be thrown at her. It was such an inspiring read since I have faced so little hardship compared to what she has.

The first part that made me not want to have children was; Fox lost her virginity at age 12/13, to a man that was at least in his late 20s, while in the street of her small hometown in Italy. And when I say in the street, I mean she was riding him in the middle of the street between houses. If that doesn’t just blow your mind and shock you a bit, I don’t really know what will.

I also really want to talk about how interesting it was that Julia‘s father had such a prominent affair with Julia‘s best friend’s mother. I feel that it was so intensely selfish of her dad to take away the only seemingly healthy, maternal relationship that she had in her life. It really hurt my feelings personally when he got the mistress pregnant, then had to never see her again because of how awful Julia’s mom was. I mean, what a coward! I know the father was absolutely not right for having an affair in the first place, but to say that you can never see that kid and the mistress again is scarring to me.

I also want to reflect on her time spent in her relationship with the drug dealer, the character that she named Ace. I thought this was such an integral part of her story for her being in high school, and getting addicted to drugs. Since I’ve never done drugs, and or been in the lifestyle to be around hard drugs, this narration was extremely eye-opening for me personally. I don’t think I should really say my opinions because they will seem uninformed and judgmental.

I think it was really commendable how Julia’s father encouraged her to stay in the “mental health hospital/ institution” considering how cowardly and malleable he was. I thought it was just really interesting how Julia‘s father had never really been supportive or healthy in any way, but when it came time for her to cut Ace clean off, he was more supportive than he had been previously in her life.

Also, the fact that she overdosed over four or five times, just in her narration alone, is mind-boggling to me. I have had people within my life overdose (and pass away), so reading about how she overdosed multiple times, didn’t really change her behavior or didn’t let it impact her lifestyle, was crazy to me.

Another portion that I really appreciated about Julia’s narration was her not naming The Artist. Although we have a strong assumption that the artist is Kanye (right?) I find this tactic when used in narration in memoirs is so powerful. I think that Jeanette McCurdy used a similar tactic when not naming Dan Schneider as she called him The Creator, so I find the parallels between those two positions of power, and comparison of the respective relationships, really interesting! I think most people, including myself, know Julia as the ex-girlfriend of Kanye; that’s how she was brought to fame and found the light that she’s in. After reading her memoir, I realize there's obviously so much more to her, and her artwork, than anyone really gives her credit for. It’s so frustrating now to see her on the daily mail being called crazy while working on her artwork.

I am working on exercising my empathy while reading, and seeing how much Julia went through not only expanded my view of hardship, but it also made me feel more understanding of celebrities and addiction. Julia has lost so many friends, due to all of them passing away from suicide/drug abuse/alcohol abuse. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how that must feel for her. She just had a baby with an abusive man and ended up divorcing him, only to find out that all of her friends had either abandoned her to work with someone who abused her, or had passed away from the dangerous lifestyle that she was so integrated in. I never disliked Julia before, but I (along with most other readers) have gained so much respect for her, and all she has been through. I especially respect and admire the change that she’s willing to commit to for the future of her and her child. Kudos Miss. Fox!!

I had an especially hard time coming up with a playlist for this book, because everything felt insanely insensitive and too on the nose. But because that’s the way that Julia wrote the memoir, I figured she might appreciate me throwing in a Kanye West, or a song about addiction. If you don’t like it, I don’t care, this is my interpretation.

Spotify: LINK